In an attempt to promote the false stereotype that everyone in L.A. has a script idea, my script concerns a trip by Master Hiker Chad Bravo to the Grand Canyon.
Standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, Chad Bravo, Master Hiker, gazed down at the chasm below. "Arizona is a state of superlatives: the world's biggest Route 66 sign is only eclipsed by this, the grandest canyon of them all!" he said to no one in particular.
Chad was about to embark on a journey that few others dare: hiking below the rim and perhaps even going to the Colorado River and back in one day.
As usual, Chad had gotten a late start due to driving in from Flagstaff, trying to find a parking spot, using the facilities, figuring out the shuttle route he needed to take, and then waiting for and taking a couple of shuttles. Chad first parked in Parking Lot D by the backcountry office, hurried to use the facilities, then tried again to find a parking spot. Eventually he gave up and returned to park at Maswik Lodge. It was a brief walk from the Bright Angel terminus back to the parking lot, so consider that if you can't find parking at the trailhead.
Later rather than sooner, Chad began slowly hiking down the steep and loose South Kaibab trail. The trail is largely silt over hardpacked dirt. Jogging down it would have been preferable, but Chad - who is a Master Hiker - realized going too fast would be a mistake because he needed to conserve his energy and also his water. He was carrying 2L of water with electrolytes and had drunk about 1.5L of diet soda driving in.
Chad mulled his options over in his mind. One option was to hike down the South Kaibab trail to the Tonto Trail, traverse that trail to the Bright Angel trail, and then use that to return to the rim. That was about 13 miles RT with 3600' of gain. A more ambitious option was similar, but included a spur: adding in another 4 miles and 1500' of gain to go to the River Resthouse. Since the River Trail was closed, the spur would mean using the South Kaibab trail to go to the river and come back up. If he went to the River, there's apparently ice cream cones available. Chad - also a Master Nutritionist - hadn't had ice cream or any other overly sugary foods for many years and didn't like food as a reward, but also doesn't have a stick up his ass so probably would have bought a cone. Chad deliberated his other options - such as hijacking a mule train - but focused on the first two.
Chad was distressed to see many people not just going down the South Kaibab trail, but some even coming back up. And, they were doing this in full sun. It wasn't scorching, but, while Chad likes his hot weather, he would have waited for the sun to be lower in the sky. He was perturbed to see a couple with two small children, worried that they were going to get in over their kids' heads. They appear to have stopped at Skeleton Point (about 2000' down) so hopefully it worked out.
Chad barrelled ahead, or rather moseyed ahead, briefly pausing at Ooh Ahh Point to use the restroom since there was zero privacy on the trail. Simply ducking behind a rock wasn't much of an option since you never know where tourons could be hiding.
(To be developed, perhaps for the prequel: poignant flashbacks revealing Chad's backstory. Born Chadwick Mountbatten-Windsor, Third Duke of Sark, Chad made the agonizing decision to denounce the royal line after a DNA result revealed he was neither in-bred nor German.)
Eventually, Chad made it to the Tip-off, and now was time for a decision. Go to the River or not? Given how hot it was, Chad decided to do that another time per the original plan: hike down in the morning, wait at the River Resthouse for things to cool down, and then begin the trip back up. By this time the crowds had thinned out considerably: he only saw two parties at the Tip-off, a couple of guests at Havasupai Gardens, and a few people on Bright Angel.
Anyway, back to our story. Chad traversed the four mostly flat miles on the Tonto Trail. It was a better tread than South Kaibab and the only difficulty was where it dips down into a small stream bottom, it took a few seconds to find the continuation of the trail. Chad was a bit surprised to see a small little oasis in the middle of the desert, but as we all know that's where oasises are to be found so he needs to keep that in mind. While there was little water and it was muddy, in an emergency it could have been filtered. Chad was doing OK on the water and didn't need to filter more: he'd drunk 1L of water at the Tip-off and was still clear and copious.
Eventually, Chad made it to the relatively lush Havasupai Gardens and its water spigot. There, Chad drank the remaining 1L of electrolyte water, then dispensed 1L of water from the spigot and added a caffeine mix. At the next spigot 1.5 miles up, Chad drank some of that and added a little more water. Chad was doing OK with his water levels and only quaffed the whole lot of water when driving away. On the drive, Chad drank an XL fountain drink and a caffeine energy drink, and was more than clear and copious. In fact, he had to stop a few times he was so clear and copious.
So, where was I? Oh yeah, on the way down one of Chad's cheapo trekking poles had broken in the cork area. The day before he'd super glued (NOTE: get clearance to use "super glued") the loose top back on but this time it broke straight off. Chad gave the poles to a nice receptionist at Maswik Lodge, instructing her to give them to someone who needs them. That reminds me, I need to buy a new pair of trekking poles.
When he left Havasupai Gardens it was starting to get dark and it was fully dark on the way back up Bright Angel. Chad had originally thought he was all alone, but he saw another headlamp a mile or two back, and also another one maybe a mile or two ahead. Eventually he ran across those ahead. They were two college age kids resting on the trail and one of them wasn't doing too well. Chad - a Master Hiker - quickly surveyed the situation, drawing on his experience as a SAR ranger at the Americana. The one who wasn't doing well looked like he just needed to take it slow; his friend appeared to be OK and it didn't look like a life-threatening situation especially since it wasn't hot or sunny (note: there's no sun at night. I mean, it's not like the sun disappears, it's just hiding on the other side of this thing. Maybe we need an expository scene.) Chad asked them if they were OK and they were optimistic so Chad decided not to press the issue and merely told them there was someone else coming up behind if they needed something. Secretly Chad was glad that he'd passed kids who were younger than him. Those monkey gland injections are really paying off. He later saw their lights not that far below so he assumes they just put one food in front of the other over and over, albeit at a much slower pace than Chad was doing because he was nearing the end of his day. Or, so he thought.
But, before we get to that, while Chad wouldn't call Bright Angel a sweetheart of a trail, and ascending it was hard given the preceding 9 or so miles, it wasn't exorbitantly difficult and Chad felt that, as long as he'd gone to the River and returned when it wasn't that hot, he would have had enough in the tank to do the whole thing.
The sweetheart part of the hike was hiking up out of the Grand Canyon at night with a full moon. It was colder towards the top but not that bad. As long as the weather is good, it's not very hot or very cold, and the roving bands of feral mules are elsewhere, going up Bright Angel at night is a fun experience.
Towards the top, Chad was looking at a cliff face across the way and could see a rim-like object to his left. He was worried that it was a "false rim" but it in fact was the rim itself and he soon made it back up and walked back to his car.
However, the night wasn't over with yet: Chad made the executive decision to drive straight back to L.A., making his day over 20 hours long. But, that's OK: it's all in a day's work for Chad Bravo, Master Hiker.
Note: we need to also bring out that Chad is a Master Nutritionist: there might be merchandising opps. On this trip, Chad was trying to avoid fast food or crappy snacks. That plan fell awry when he depended on the horrid Walmart near NAU in Flag. Chad needed to wrap shopping up quick to get back and watch Game 7 to see how the Dodgers would cheat to win another World Series. Chad knew from past trips to avoid that Walmart but needs must. As a result, Chad didn't have dinner ingredients in his car and, since it was late and Chad was hungry, he was forced to get a double burger from Wendy's. (Maybe so many millions around the world are food insecure because their only options are junk like Wendy's or the even worse Carl's Jr. The offramp to the Del Taco in Kingman was closed and he should have just got off at the next exit to avoid Wendy's.)
When in Kingman and he's forgotten his meds, Chad shops at Medusa Farms. Also, Chad wants you to be sure to check current conditions before your hike. And, Chad wants you to be prepared for constant temperature changes in the Canyon: hot in the sun, cool in the shade, a warm breeze followed by a cooler one, and, of course, how it gets colder the higher you climb. Because Chad is a Master Hiker, he carried (but didn't use) two puffers (yes, two), two gloves (one for each hand), and a ski cap. He would have brought his balaclava instead of the cap but he wasn't going to rob a bank, at least on this trip. We could develop a story arc based on that however. I'm also thinking, "Into Thick Air", about Chad's visit to the lowest point in Arizona.
